Monday, October 03, 2005

Girl Genius

Comic books feature these amazing characters with earth-shattering, cosmic powers.

And, yet, they expect the average comic book reader to identify with the protagonist's struggle against evil. Most comic book readers I know have a hard time struggling with their shoelaces. Obviously, this is a diabolical plot in the name of evil.

So, my ex was into comic books. He told me that I simply had not read enough comic books to find a hero that inspired me.

I went to the comic book store and tried a few of the story-lines out. This is what I found:

Subject One-

Laser vision, super strength, and the ability to fly... not things I do on a regular basis. I can't even think of what good super strength would be nowadays. I mean, I could move that red sportscar that keeps parking in my assigned spot, but then the alarm would go off and it just wouldn't be worth it... No, I am not able to leap tall buildings with a single bound. I can't even bring myself to leap more than one stair-step at a time.

I'll wait for the elevator, thank you.

Subject Two-

Yes, I'd like to be a whiny spider... that's my idea of heroism. I'll climb buildings and fling sticky stuff from my fingers. Not to mention, I'm terrified of spiders.

I just don't think I'm creepy enough to pull that one off.

Subject Three-

I'm far too brainwashed by my Genetics major to buy into the whole mutant-powers thing. I keep trying to figure out how they get recessive traits like that to stay dormant so long, then pop up in only one person. The equations must be nightmarish... like the ones in Population Genetics that are so horrid they incorporate surprise (!) into the calculations.

No, that won't work either.


What is a boy to do without a hero? So, I gave it one more shot.

And what I found was intriguing...

1. The main character is a female. While this is not, in itself, astounding... the fact that she wears tweed is. Well, the fact that she wears clothing at all is pretty amazing. What is it with comic heroines and spandex?

2. The heroes and the villains have the same power. At least this is a little more believable... but it gets better!

3. The power is the coolest thing ever. It's called The Spark.

Ok, The Spark can be identified by three main qualities. Firstly, a person with this gift is highly predisposed to blowing up laboratories.

Something I can go with... though that last explosion wasn't entirely my fault.

Secondly, The Spark grants the hero or villain the ability to analyze and understand any complex system they are interested in.

Finally, a power that doesn't lead me towards bludgeoning the enemy to death with my fists! Evil-Death-Rays are so much more chic.

Thirdly, whenever a Spark comes across a situation where they can't figure something out, or when something could be improved upon by means of Mad Science, they go crazy.

Now you're talking! Adventure, Romance, MAD SCIENCE!!! The name of the comic?



How much better can it get? A whole comic book about the adventures of a female mad scientist in a world besieged by other mad scientists! It's drawn with astounding beauty and the humor is undeniably quirky, yet clever.

So, I'm going to have to put a link to the comic, which is available online, in the sidebar of my blog.

And... and maybe I could add a few graphics into the sidebar... and some words for the day... and and Subliminal Messages! Yes! Subliminal Messages encoded into the...

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